DDR 60.2

Chapter 60.2: The beginning of a knot in one’s heart

She really wanted to tear off Kong Xinhe’s mask, but Kong Xinhe was not Yang Huilan. Everyone was so friendly towards herself, so how could she take the initiative to shed all pretenses?

Qi Xueyan looked at Kong Xinhe with an insincere smile, and the hatred in her eyes nearly covered up the beauty of her face. “But Miss Kong, I really can’t enjoy this cup of tea!” Wasn’t drinking the same as admitting? She wasn’t that stupid! Qi Xueyan smiled at Kong Xinhe and wanted to see how the other party would follow up.

However, she did not expect that at this moment, Shen Jingshu would put her on the spot. “Xueyan, why won’t you drink? Is it because shizi’s tea is not good? Or is it because you’re still angry? It’s ok, don’t be angry. Huilan didn’t do it on purpose. Look, hasn’t Xinhe poured you some tea? Quickly drink, isn’t everyone good friends? Let’s not have accumulated animosity.” Hearing these words combined with the innocent look on Shen Jingshu’s face, Qi Xueyan didn’t know if Shen Jingshu did it intentionally or if she really didn’t understand.

For a while, she felt trapped. She had to give Duan Wang shizi face, and she could not let Duan Wang shizi feel she was too narrow-minded, lest he get a bad impression of her. But, she was even more reluctant to indirectly admit to this matter. What should she do?

With no room to advance or retreat, Qi Xueyan wished she could return to a few minutes ago and seal Shen Jingshu’s mouth! But now, what would be the correct move?

Looking at Shen Jingshu’s puzzled expression, Yang Huilan’s disdainful expression, and Kong Xinhe’s unmoving smile, Qi Xueyan was most worried about Duan Wang shizi‘s attitude. Although Duan Wang Shizi didn’t speak, he was also looking at the teacup in Kong Xinhe’s hand. Qi Xueyan could only endure, “Hehe, Miss Kong, thank you, you are so kind to me!” She bit her words off heavily. Qi Xueyan took the teacup with a fake smile. She took a sip and right after put it back down. In her heart, she felt her heart fill with a fiery rage. Looking at Shen Jingshu, Yang Huilan, and Kong Xinhe, especially Shen Jingshu, Qi Xueyan doubted that the other party was deliberate!

But these past few days, Shen Jingshu was always like this. Qi Xueyan couldn’t find any flaws, and at this time she could only swallow the anger in her heart. But still, her heart could not accept it!

You all have made me suffer so much anger today. There’s no way I’ll give up at this point!

Although she was furious, today was a rare opportunity to see Duan Wang shizi. Qi Xueyan naturally wanted to sieze this opportunity, so she could only temporarily set aside these other matters.

Very quickly, Qi Xueyan calmed down. One must say that time had passed. Compared to a year ago, Qi Xueyan was much more mature. Now, she could actually hide her thoughts. In a flash, she exchanged her expression for a smiling one, and sought an opportunity to speak with Duan Wang shizi. However, Duan Wang shizi only occasionally gave a few replies out of consideration for Shen Jingshu’s face, more often than not leaving Qi Xueyan with no good way to respond.

She felt very anxious until finally, she had no choice other than to invite Duan Wang shizi, “Duan Wang shizi, thank you for today. Right now I have nothing with which to thank Duan Wang shizi. I don’t know if perhaps Duan Wang shizi could do me the honor of visiting my residence and let my father and mother thank Duan Wang shizi for your assistance today?” Although she was grateful, selfish motives naturally lay behind Qi Xueyan’s courtesy.

Duan Wang shizi did not much like Master Qi, so it did not take much thinking from him to decline, “Miss Qi need not mind it. It was only a very slight effort on my part, that’s all.”

“But…” She wanted to say something, but at this moment Shen Jingshu seemed to have suddenly remembered something, and said somewhat anxiously, “That’s right, Xueyan, just now I saw Shaodong gege. The two of us were searching for you together, but we were afraid that with us together, we wouldn’t find you all, so we separated. When you came here, did you see Shaodong gege?”

“No, we didn’t. What’s wrong?” Facing Shen Jingshu’s troublemaking, Qi Xueyan’s mood could already no longer be described as “displeased.”

“Shaodong gege didn’t find us, wouldn’t he be worried and then go back to call someone over? If so, wouldn’t your family be worried? Xueyan, let’s hurry to find Shaodong gege, lest he worry!”[1]

“When gege doesn’t find me, he will naturally return home, so no need to worry!” Qi Xueyan did not want to go back. Duan Wang shizi was not so easy to see, and she did not want to miss this chance to get close to Duan Wang shizi.

“But wouldn’t it be bad to alarm Master Qi and Madam Qi?” Shen Jingshu looked at Qi Xueyan with concern, then shifted her focus to Qi Xueyan’s clothes.

Qi Xueyan now noticed that her own clothes were wrinkled, and thinking of her difficult situation of a bit ago, she knitted her brows. After considering for a moment, she finally could only give up. “You’re right, we can’t make my parents and brother anxious. Duan Wang shizi, I am truly grateful for today. Some other day, I will surely thank you personally!”

“Miss Qi, No need. You’re so serious.” Contrary to Qi Xueyan’s desires, Duan Wang shizi didn’t want to have anything to do with Qi Xueyan. Qi Xueyan didn’t expect Duan Wang shizi to refuse her again and again. She felt a little ashamed and resentful. Unable to deal with anything else, she hurriedly said her goodbyes and left. Shen Jingshu and the others also naturally prepared to take their leave.

Duan Wang shizi saw that Shen Jingshu was leaving, and in a curious coincidence, winked at Shen Jingshu.[2] “Miss Shen, you saw Miss Qi thank me in that way just now. What are your impressions?”

“Could it be that Duan Wang shizi also wants me to invite you to dinner? Or perhaps to visit my home to express my thanks?” Smiling, Shen Jingshu’s tone was playful. Naturally it was a joke, but she didn’t think Duan Wang shizi would take it seriously, and earnestly think over it. He then nodded, “I think this proposal is a good one. If Miss Shen is really this considerate, then I will not refuse.”

“I will think over Duan Wang shizi’s proposal. Goodbye!” Hehe, Qi Xueyan was rejected, but to her, he actually took the initiative to suggest it himself? Shen Jingshu felt she could not see through Duan Wang shizi’s thoughts. Smiling, she left, but nevertheless her heart could not calm down for a long time…

In her previous life, this kind of godlike man had already reached heights she was incapable of touching, however she more or less understood his nature.

It was rumored that Duan Wang shizi had a cold temperament and was not close to women. In this lifetime, she saw that it really was so. However, why did she now always feel that Duan Wang shizi was different from what she had seen before?

Shen Jingshu felt it a little strange, but this was not the time to think of this. She could only put it aside and work hard to tell herself not to provoke Duan Wang shizi so that later she could avoid him well!

What she wanted was a happy and peaceful life. Duan Wang shizi was destined to be extraordinary all his life. She did not want to, nor was she willing, to be involved in those rights and wrongs, truths and lies!

 * * * *

As soon as the girls went out, Qi Xueyan drew Shen Jingshu over. “Jingshu, accompany me to go back. I’m worried about my parents!” Although she was uneasy, Qi Xueyan had more questions to ask Shen Jingshu. She could not wait a moment more!

“Miss Qi, it’s so late. Jingshu is also a girl. It’s not safe!” Yang Huilan looked at Qi Xueyan pulling on Shen Jingshu, and she pulled Shen Jingshu back.

Today there was nearly an accident. At present, rumors were flying about who was involved.[3] It was better to be careful and go home early.

“Jingshu, you won’t accompany me? I’m afraid…” She looked pathetically at Shen Jingshu. Although Shen Jingshu had changed a lot over the past year, Qi Xueyan still had confidence she could control Shen Jingshu.

“Xueyan, it’s okay. What you have to do now is to go back early, so that Master Qi and Madam Qi don’t worry, let’s go!” She pulled Qi Xueyan directly into the carriage. It was so late, and Shen Jingshu didn’t want to go back and forth.

“Jingshu, accompany me, all right? I’m really scared…” She pulled on Shen Jingshu, not letting her leave. Shen Jingshu saw Qi Xueyan acting like this, and helplessly furrowed her brows. It was not good for her to refuse Qi Xueyan in front of so many people. In the end, her friendship with Qi Xueyan still was not yet over, so she still had to keep up appearances.

“Okay, let’s go!” Thinking about it, she still agreed. In any case, Shen Jingshu also knew what Qi Xueyan was doing. It was nothing more than asking her how she’d managed to make connections with Duan Wang shizi, how did she end up running into Duan Wang shizi today, and why did he help her?

Shen Jingshu adhered to the principle of “you may go undetected during the new moon, but at full moon you’ll be found out,”[4] so she agreed to get in the carriage with Qi Xueyan. Yang Huilan and Kong Xinhe on the side exchanged glances. Finally, they followed them into the carriage. “In any case, everyone is on the way. Let’s go together. The more people, the better!” The two people impolitely got into Qi Xueyan’s carriage.

Qi Xueyan looked at the two extra people. Naturally they were unwelcome. “Miss Yang, Miss Kong, it’s no longer early. You should go back first, so as not to worry your families.”

“It’s no problem. I’ll go back and have someone explain. Miss Qi, you’re so scared. With one more person to accompany you, you’ll be a little less frightened, right?” Using Qi Xueyan’s own words to block her, Qi Xueyan really had no way to retort.

She looked at the two people, completely unreconciled. “My carriage is small. You can take your own carriage. It will be more comfortable.”

“It’s okay, with everyone together it’s more warm and lively. Don’t you think so, Xinhe?”

“Of course. Miss Qi, could it be you don’t welcome us?”

“That’s right, Xueyan, with Huilan and Xinhe, you need not be so afraid. It’s better with more people. You don’t want it?” Shen Jingshu understood the kind intentions of her two good friends. Naturally she would not let them down. The three people looked at Qi Xueyan, and it looked like she was going to say “no,” but it was just that the natural order of things could not allow it.  Qi Xueyan felt like she’d picked up a stone just to smash it on her own foot. She’d brought it on herself, and she wished she hadn’t spoken those words just now, so she wouldn’t have to keep looking at these two people she was sick of looking at!

“Then let’s go together. It’s just that the carriage is small and doesn’t sit comfortably, so don’t blame me!” Of course, the tone was very unwilling, but could Qi Xueyan drive them away?

“Of course we won’t. It’s more fun with everyone, wouldn’t you say, Xinhe?”

“Yes, thank you, Miss Qi!”

“Come on, Huilan, Xinhe, come in, it’s nice and warm here!” The three girls were completely at ease. Just because it was Qi Xueyan’s carriage, they would not be uncomfortable. The three people talked and laughed cheerfully. Because Qi Xueyan’s spirits were low, she only occasionally said a sentence or two. However, the trip could still be considered to be a lively one, just that each person had their own thoughts.

Fortunately, halfway through they came across Qi Shaodong. Sure enough, Qi Shaodong was going home to get the guards. After all, his family’s little sister was lost. He had to take responsibility. Qi Shaodong was not able to find Qi Xueyan after searching a long time. At that time he could only brace himself to go back and look for Master Qi and Madam Qi. The whole way he had been dillydallying, thinking about what to say to his parents so that he wouldn’t be blamed. But, he had good luck, and met Qi Xueyan and the others. Catching sight of Qi Xueyan’s carriage, for the first time Qi Shaodong was very eager to see his sister. “Yan’er! Yan’er! Is it you?”

“Gege!” Hearing her brother’s voice, Qi Xueyan suddenly felt as though she finally had a target for today’s grievances.

“It’s me, are you okay? Why is your voice a bit strange?”

“I’m fine, gege. Are you going to go back?”

“En, you were missing and I couldn’t find you, so I was going to go look for our parents.” When he couldn’t find Qi Xueyan, Qi Shaodong’s first reaction was to look for her himself. He wouldn’t inform their parents except as a last resort.

Qi Xueyan saw that Qi Shaodong’s carriage was facing the direction of their home, and she immediately understood. She sneered a little, but it quickly disappeared. “I was really about to go back, but since I’ve run across gege, then let’s go together!” Hehe, he was really a good brother. She’d been missing such a long time, and he still hadn’t gone back to tell their parents. If she hadn’t met Duan Wang shizi today, the consequences were too horrible to contemplate.[5]

Gege, you are really heartless! I’m your own sister. Because you fear being scolded, you’re not concerned about me?

Qi Xueyan couldn’t express the disappointment in her heart. Looking at Qi Shaodong’s obviously guilty face, Qi Xueyan only felt that the boy in front of her was disgusting.

“En, it’s good if you’re fine. I’m still worried about you. Now, I’m relieved to see you’re fine. Let’s go back together!”

“I’ll tell Jingshu and the others!”

“Shen meimei is also here?”

“En, not only Jingshu, but also Miss Yang and Miss Kong are also here. Does gege want to say hello?” Seeing Qi Shaodong’s face change when she mentioned Shen Jingshu, Qi Xueyan was so angry!

I’m your own sister. Don’t tell me I can’t even compare to others? Gege, you really disappoint me! 

“Of course I want to greet them!” Qi Shaodong walked over and saw through the lifted curtain that Shen Jingshu was all right. Qi Shaodong was relieved, “Shen meimei, where did you go just now? I looked for you everywhere. I nearly thought you’d had an accident. Now seeing that you’re fine, I’m relieved.” Qi Shaodong originally wanted to show off in front of Shen Jingshu, and wanted Shen Jingshu to be grateful to him, but he didn’t expect that his words would only make Qi Xueyan more angry.

Qi Shaodong, you are really too ruthless. You like her, but is she more important than your own sister? You’re lucky I’ve helped you so much. If you really marry her in the future, will your eyes still see your sister?

Qi Xueyan suddenly didn’t want Shen Jingshu and Qi Shaodong to be together, so she would try her best to destroy the possibility in the future. Qi Shaodong was completely unaware that his actions today had injured his little sister’s heart. In addition, it had left a knot in Qi Xueyan’s heart, creating a crack in the relationship between the siblings. In the future, it would be too late for him to regret!

But at this time that he was completely ignoring Qi Xueyan, he only knew that he liked Shen Jingshu very much, and hoped to capture the beauty’s heart as soon as possible! As Qi Shaodong stared at Shen Jingshu with a burning gaze, Qi Shaodong did not deny that he in part intended to create some ambiguity in front of Shen Jingshu’s friends, to make others think that he and Shen Jingshu had something. Girls were thin-skinned. At that time, Shen Jingshu would feel too embarrassed to explain, and as time went by, wouldn’t the matter already be settled?

Qi Shaodong’s heart was sinister. Shen Jingshu looked at his smile and understood. At this moment, she just returned him a ridiculing smile, “Shaodong gege, I’m fine. You should accompany Xueyan back first. She received a fright today. As her brother, you shouldn’t neglect her, you should console her!”

 “What happened?”

 “I’m also not sure. Shaodong gege, you can ask yourself in a moment. Since we’ve run into you, we won’t go back with Xueyan. We’ll take our leave!” After she finished speaking, she and the other two got out of the carriage and entered their own respective carriages behind. “Shaodong gege, Xueyan, goodbye!”

“Young Master Qi, Miss Qi, goodbye!” The few people left in a tacit understanding, not giving Qi Shaodong any chance to detain them, and they soon disappeared into the night.

Qi Shaodong watched them leave, but his only reaction was to stare blankly in the direction where the carriages had disappeared, his face filled with regret. This further irritated Qi Xueyan. A bitter smile flashed across Qi Xueyan’s face, “Gege, they are gone, let’s go back!”

“Ah, good!” Truly a pity, such a good opportunity…

Qi Shaodong really thought it was a pity, so when he got on the carriage, he naturally wanted to inquire. His tone inevitably held some reproach, “Yan’er, what happened today? Didn’t we agree you would push Shen meimei out? How did you disappear? You know that I looked for you for a long time? I almost thought you’d gotten into trouble.” If it wasn’t for this sister who did things carelessly, he would’ve been able to take this rare opportunity to interact with Shen meimei by herself.

“Ge, are you blaming me?” Hehe, she was almost disrespected by someone today, but her own brother wasn’t concerned about her, but rather some irrelevant person! He was really her good brother!

“Yan’er, I didn’t mean to blame you. Just that, what happened to you today?” Although he said he wasn’t blaming her, but his tone, and his expression, Qi Xueyan was very disappointed with this brother. “Gege, you think I wanted to go missing? Do you know that I nearly suffered grievances?” Thinking of that scene, Qi Xueyan trembled a little.

Fortunately, Duan Wang shizi’s person showed up in time, otherwise, who knows what would have happened to her? But her brother didn’t worry about her at all. Was he even her relative?

“What’s the matter? What grievances have you suffered?” Qi Shaodong recalled what Shen Jingshu had said, and became uneasy. “But what happened? What did Shen memei mean just now? You tell me!”

Had he not mentioned Shen Jingshu, Qi Xueyan might have spoken of her grievances, but hearing Qi Shaodong saying “Shen Jingshu” every time he opened his mouth, Qi Xueyan had no more mood to talk. “It was nothing, just encountered a little trouble. Duan Wang shizi saved me. If not for Duan Wang shizi, I definitely would’ve been harmed today!”

Although she didn’t want to say it, but in order to see Duan Wang shizi again, Qi Xueyan had no choice but to open her mouth. She thought Qi Shaodong would be grateful to Duan Wang shizi, but she never thought that Qi Shaodong would be subconsciously surprised. “Why is it him? Why would he save you?”

“Gege, Duan Wang shizi saved me out of kindness. Is that strange? Gege, don’t you think we should thank him properly?” Qi Xueyan naturally did not understand Qi Shaodong’s thoughts. Qi Shaodong also had high ambitions, and naturally couldn’t bear to see others be better than him. Previously in Jiangnan, he was excellent, whether it was his academic status or appearance. Few people could compare with him, but ever since Duan Wang shizi came, he had been treated coldly. Duan Wang shizi was superior to him in every respect. Qi Shaodong naturally disliked Duan Wang shizi. Especially the humiliation during last year’s birthday made Qi Shaodong create a grudge against Duan Wang shizi. How would he be willing to have a relationship with the other party? So of course he did not want to thank Duan Wang shizi, lest he suffer the humiliation from last time again.

Therefore, when Qi Xueyan asked, he only raised his eyes carelessly, “Hehe, what kind of identity does Duan Wang shizi have? Helping you is just as easy as lifting a finger for him. If we go to give thanks, he may not be happy to receive. Just forget this matter. Don’t think too much. Who knows, he may have forgotten all about it by tomorrow.”

Qi Shaodong spoke in just a casual tone, but it poked Qi Xueyan’s sore spot. Thinking about how Duan Wang shizi gave off an appearance of not needing her to repay him, and then hearing Qi Shaodong’s words, she became increasingly angry, “Ge, don’t tell me that Duan Wang shizi is so busy that in helping us, we shouldn’t thank him? If our parents knew, they would certainly blame us for not understanding gratitude. When we get back, I’ll speak to Mother properly.”

Of course Qi Xueyan would not let this opportunity go. Qi Shaodong was not willing, so he refuted, “Yan’er, is that necessary? Other people are busy, and not lacking anything, what do we have to repay him? I think it should be forgotten, so as not to lose face!”

“What do you mean? Is our identity so low? In any case, Father is also a fifth-level official. In Jiangnan, he is not regarded as too small, so why is it low?” Qi Xueyan cared more and more about her status over the past year, especially when she felt that she was defeated by Shen Jingshu. Her status was the thorn in her heart, her reverse scale. Qi Shaodong, was this not just asking for trouble?

“Yan’er, I didn’t mean that, I just…”

“All right, you don’t need to say it. I know right now you only have Shen Jingshu, not your little sister. You don’t care if I live or die, then I’ll go back and tell Mother in a moment!”

“Yan’er, what are you talking about? How can you say such things to your brother?”

“Isn’t it true though? Who was thoroughly ignoring their little sister just now, and was only caring about others?”

“Yan’er, you…”

“Fine, I’m tired. I want to rest. Don’t talk to me!” She didn’t want to continue talking to Qi Shaodong. Today Qi Xueyan had seen her brother’s true colors, and was in a terrible mood. She just felt completely disappointed in her brother!

“Yan’er…” He sighed, knowing that Qi Xueyan was blaming him. Qi Shaodong reflected on it, and felt that he had indeed done too much today, but it was all only for his beloved girl! Not to mention that his sister was fine, right?

Although he felt a little guilty, but looking at Qi Xueyan’s attitude, Qi Shaodong’s guilt disappeared. Seeing that Qi Xueyan wouldn’t speak, Qi Shaodong also simply wouldn’t speak. He just felt that this sister was becoming more and more unsensible.

It was still good when they were little. What happened this year? Her temperament was getting increasingly worse, and she was getting more and more small-minded? It seemed that when they got back, he should remind his mother to instruct his sister better.

The brother and sister each had their different thoughts. Qi Xueyan still felt stifled with anger, and hoped that Qi Shaodong would comfort her, but she never anticipated that Qi Shaodong wouldn’t comfort her. This naturally made her angrier. She was still unaware of Qi Shaodong’s opinions. If she knew, then she’d likely explode with rage!

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Translator’s Notes

[1] I’m only reading it, but I feel tired from all this running around.

[2] What coincidence? Seems clearly deliberate.

[3] I might have translated this sentence incorrectly.

[4] Idiom. Sooner or later you’ll have to deal with it. 躲得过初一,躲不过十五

[5] It was actually his bodyguard who saved you, but whatever.